In a recent Bollywood flick Helicopter Eela, Kajol who plays the protagonist by the name of Eela portrays the role of a ‘helicopter’ mother who goes to lengths to be a part of her teenage son’s life. She does things like being friends with all his friends and even joining the same college as him. This scenario doesn’t play out really well in the real world, though we may have laughed at the antics of Kajol while watching the movie.
If you do not want to be a ‘Helicopter parent’ and would want to be a parent cum buddy to your teenagers then these points are going to give you something to think about. Let’s see them.
Creating a Healthy Relationship with Your Teenage Child Is Easier Than You Think.
Treat them like an adult but don’t forget they will always be your kids.
Teenage years are like a whirlwind of varying emotions, puberty, hormones, peer pressure and high school years all changing the wind direction and the mood of your teenager every five minutes. So one minute they are all grown up, trying to decide what dress to wear to the friend’s party and the next minute they are acting out like a toddler, refusing to eat the food which is being offered to them.
The trick here is to adapt according to their mood. You will almost have to flow with the tide of their emotions. So be the friend when they need one and tell your teenage girl how she will look pretty in that pink dress and be a parent and withhold the wifi password when she refuses to clean her room.
Give them some space
The urge to monitor your child is tugging very hard at the back of your mind but giving them that space is very important. One of the popular Netflix series called Black Mirror, which is a collection of small different stories, one of which is called the Arkangel is all about parental control.
This particular story is about how a mother gets an implant done in her daughter’s head which lets her monitor every move of her daughter, including keeping a tab on what the daughter is seeing through her eyes or her location. The mother does not realize when concern for the safety and well being of her daughter turns into paranoia about controlling the daughter’s life. Needless to say it did not turn out well either for the parent or the child.
Practice what you preach
Ironically it sounds quite preachy but that’s how it works. You cannot educate your child on the moderate use of substances like alcohol when they see you come home sloshed night after night. In order for them to do what you feel is right, you will have to follow that same path which you want them to take. Make good choices in life and then let them emulate them in life rather than forcing it down on them.
Respect them and their choices
Unless your teenager is taking some extreme measures in life where you feel you need to step in, let them experiment a little in life and respect their choices. So your son wants to grow a beard? Let him try it on and decide for himself or from the comments of his friends if he wants to keep it or not.
Your daughter wants to get her hair dyed a blue shade, do not fly off the handle and start screaming at her. Tell her calmly that she can go and experiment with a few streaks first temporarily and if she likes it she may go ahead with it. Chances are you might not even have the discussion with her again when she realizes it wasn’t a great idea, to begin with.
Most teenagers do not have their parents as part of their friend list on social media for the simple reason that it is a part of their life where they do not wish for your interference. Do not go down the fake profile way where you create a false profile on social media and become friends with your teenager, only to monitor their social media activity.
Educate them about the pros and cons of social media and then build such a trust level with them that in case they need your help in some way they feel free to discuss it with you.
Teenagers are crankier than toddlers and need all your love
Your small gestures to show them that you care for them and love them no matter what, go a long way in bringing them closer to you. If you feel at any time that during some argument you were unduly harsh with your teenager, apologize and tell them that your emotions were fuelled by your love for them.
A good level of understanding between you and your teenager is going to foster a strong relationship which will become even stronger in their adult years.
The tornado which comes in your life with your child hitting teenage years is going to blow over soon. The trick here is to build that bunker well in time so that you come out of it to witness a beautiful and clear sky! 🙂
I hope this article helped you. If you got any secret tips about creating a healthy relationship with your teenagers, then please write them down in the comment section below. Thank you. 🙂